So many times I feel like life is going great...then God puts people in my way to change me, grow me, inspire me & strengthen me. This past weekend I had the
privilege of coordinating volunteers for the Cross Power's Conference which is for people who are struggling with SSA or
OSA in their marriages. It blows my mind that people would travel here from all over the world to confront their issues. I don't think I would travel across the country to proclaim my sin issues. At the banquet on Saturday night Mike spoke about living a life that is counter cultural. "A life without struggles is a life without God."-Mike
Goeke We all want a life without struggles....so I thought. So many times I strive to fix everything, mend it, make it better. When really God makes us strong when we are at our weakest.
During one of the breaks I mentioned to a lady that I ran into a mutual acquaintance at the farmer's market and how I invited her to our MOMS group at Stonegate...etc. Well, then we were talking about motherhood a little bit and about friendships and she totally caught me off guard and asked me, do you have a best friend? I just stood their looking at her to find myself quickly avoiding eye contact, fumbling my words to come up with a quick response. Do I have a best friend? Did I? As I started to panic I was like well....I have a bunch of great friends, a couple ladies like Tina Chalk & Candyce Wylie that I talk to. But I guess No I don't really have a best friend. Someone who has the same struggles of motherhood, how to manage both a marriage & kids, someone I could call at any time, who knows when I am struggling, who holds me accountable to be in the word, to pray for me....heck to pray with me.
When we got in the car I told Bill all about it and we discussed it at length. I guess I realized that I feel like I don't want to bother people with me. I don't want people to take time out of their day to invest in me. I want to do the investing. I also see that I need to do more of it. I also think I might have false expectations of what it is suppose to look like. So, I feel like I am setting that person up for failure.
So, then I went to church and Patrick spoke from 2 Peter 1:5-7....and he talked for a moment on having a best friend. I felt like Mindi and Patrick talked. God had my full attention....what are you trying to tell me? Patrick went on to talk about the friend who you would go to the end of the earth for, someone to hold you accountable, someone whose heart is intimately knit together with yours. All I could think of was Jake & Jessi and we are super close, and they would do anything for us & our children. But then I feel like she can't relate with motherhood because her journey is not there yet. I hardly remember life without kids. It seems so long ago. And we don't really keep each other accountable like we should....something to work on.
Patrick challenged us to pick one or two things that we need to work on. I think finding a best friend....or lowering my expectations is going to be my prayer. Someone I can relate to, share life with, and hold each other accountable. I feel like we have so many things fighting against us that we need those people in our lives. We need more prayer. More people praying for us, with us. I hope that I can help my friends more...to be better mommas....to encourage them...to pray for them....to just invest in their lives. We all need each other to get through this crazy life.